The only things “missing” were 's guitar, some nut with a banjo, canoes, Burt Reynolds and his big bow and arrow, gruesome hillbillies in the woods, and one “screaming pig” ---
(Errr! VD! none of that was missing.)
rightup by , web page nonsense by

Stockholm Absolut H3 run # 380, May 25th, 2002,
at the Great Älvkarleby waterfall.

The clouds hung heavily over the central parts of Sweden as I waited at Märsta station for the train to Uppsala, but they lifted as soon as I got on board and found a whole school of Hashers, being loud and obnoxious, as usual (Not , who was very quietly sitting reading a book, dreaming of far off fantasy lands, dragons and fair princesses in need of rescue, but that’s another story). And I was even introduced to our Scottish invaders, , and , from Glasgow. They didn’t look all that dangerous, but looks can deceive.

had already started on a Hash beer (You know the kind I’m talking about) and , as usual looked like he just had come from a bar, especially in his sun-hat, which made him look like an old drunk, instead of a middle-aged drunk. still looked like he could think straight, and and were radiating “goodness” in competition with the non-existent sun.

A quick (5 minutes) change of trains in Uppsala and we were on our merry way to the big metropolis of Tierp, were we got on a bus towards Gävle and Älvkarleby. At the bus stop we found , our gracious host and Hare waiting for us with his old (t)rusty SAAB (The plates actually spell BUC, but the car doesn’t live up to them). The old and decrepit put their bags in ’s old and decrepit car, but I, being young and strong (and I didn’t like the look of the car), decided to carry me backpack the (according to the Hare) 200 metres to the camp -- keeping me beers safe. (200 metres my arse! If I’d stopped after 200 metres I’d would hardly have gotten off the main road.)

Arriving at the camp, we got a list of the sleeping arrangements stuck of in our grubby little hands. Everything was organized in a very un-Hashlike way, but had forgotten to mark the trail to the cottages. So being Hashers we wandered around lost for a while, delaying the start of the run by at least half an hour. But it did give us some time to get to know the newcomers from Gävle, one of which is ’s boss (I pity the man!). Names, in no specific order: Mikael Johansson, Stig-Göran Mårtensson and Gunilla Mårtensson. And even a Gävel with a Hash name, the rather appropriately named .

The pack was sent off, hounding after the flour trail, and the walkers (Including yours truly, , , and the two young ), followed them with the instructions from the Hare to take the “obvious shortcuts”. (I’m still looking for them, you know that ?)

Squirt, King Zebra, Marmite, who could hardly wait for the shrimp, hugs SO, Bashful Sphincter, Stig Göran, Termite, Saab 900 (for sale), Lost

Marmite and lost

Mikael and Gunilla

We got a nice run/walk along the wide and quite fast-flowing Dalälven, pity the falls were turned off, but it was quite an impressive sight anyway, and after crossing the dam the runners, or so I have been told, stopped for a shrimp-and-champagne-stop at the old Officers Mess (Löjtnants Mässen in Swedish). And the greedy buggers didn't save one shrimp for the walkers.

Ingrid Larsson, Double Decker, Bashful Sphincter, Termite, Mad Swede, Pucko, Marmite, Clever Dick, SO, Squirt, Sickboy, Oink, King Zebra, Stig Göran, Lost, Gunilla, Mikael enjoying shrimp- and champagnelike material

Continuing, and crossing to east side of the river again, on a rather swaying and heaving suspension bridge, looking at all the fishing waders (That's fishermen in waders, not birds.), who to a man didn't seem to catch any fish. Back to the camp where we found several very cold Hashers, who, for some strange reason, had entrusted their cabin keys to , hoping that he would come back first?! When will they ever learn?

Uncle Mite, VD Viking, (splendid model for new T-Shirt) Marmite, Mikael, Termite, Mermite, Gunilla, Just Mite, King Zebra, Lost, and Stig-Goran.

The circle started presently, but it was, again, a little bit unruly and misbehaved. I guess most people got a down-down or two for something, especially since took it upon himself to punish all those that were playing pocket-tennis or pocket-pool (I wonder if there’s something called pocket-snooker).

Gunilla, Stig Göran, Uncle Mite, Marmite, Termite, Anon (RSMB), Hasher (new name for Canada-bound Reindeer Skull), and King Zebra.

got a very nice pewter mug and a plaque so that he won't forget the Stockholm H3, in very long time, and he probably won't as he was forced to drink some noxious red liquid that Marmite poured in his beer.

VD Viking lecturing in front of the four mites

SO and Squirt look on as Mad Swede rides Hasher the Hobby-Reindeer.

We also got our new t-shirts, with a very nice Scandinavian design, which will most probably turn some heads around the world (Poofters in the fashion industry, YSL and so on, eat your hearts out, we've one who designs clothes that you actually want to wear.) By now the visiting Gävlarna (Ask some Swede to explain this pun) had gotten tired of us and had left us for the short trip back to Gävle. It is always nice to see some new faces in the Hash; the weird thing is that it’s who has brought the most virgins to the Stockholm Hash, and he's a Cnadyan what lives in Gävle!

Ingrid Larsson and Sickboy are punished for being too nice. Zeb, Lost and AnOn look on.

Very late into the circle a few other Gävlar arrived, it was Gordan Zdravkovic with mommy and baby Nikola, who came for a few minutes of entertainment, but by this time the circle was almost falling apart by itself, so I tried to end it as slowly as possible.

Ingrid Larsson, Pucko, Lost i Gävle being down-downed, Mikael, Gunilla and Stig-Göran.

After we got the circle out of the way, we got the grills started. And , with help from showed us that they don’t only look like they know their way around a barbeque. Salmon barbque, of course, and a lot of wine and beer. being quite a games master, organized a very impromptu Hash song contest, which was won by someone after a rather long and painstaking voting process.

Obs! a few more down downs: this one for our Glasgow visitors Oink an Mimi.

Owing to a slight drizzle the Bar-b-que was held on the veranda of the Sauna lodge.

And after that - SAUNA! of course being first in! Maybe she had prior knowledge, as the sauna was very small, with, at times having standing room only. Some of us never had so much fun standing. Anon started a round of "Monday's a bangin' day - - doodle-de-doot-de-doot-de-doo", a great HHH traditional song.

Now it really does look like we will get rid of that Reindeer Numb-Skull, once and for all. S.O., Squirt, Mad Swede, Sickboy, Oink, Mimi

Floater supervises Uncle Mite while Bashfull Sphincter dilates the sphincter of another 3.5er.

When that was over with we went over to the local pub. Which, strangely enough was very hard to find. Strange because it was located something less than a hundred metres from the camp, and in full view. But then we are, after all, Hashers. A large part of the night is somewhat hazy, but I’m sure we all had fun.

The very next morning , the lazy bastard, lay in his bed with a beer. And trying to put it down on the floor, he spilled it. In a very Matrix way, I leapt on to my wheeled little cot, to save the beer, rolled into ’s bed, and nearly broke his drinking hand, as he tried to save his beer. It didn't help much as he some minutes later spilled the beer all over himself. Which incidentally gave and yet another hearty laugh. Schadenfreude I believe it’s called.

Breakfast consisted of fried eggs, and lox (LOX? Yes that’s salmon that you have prepared in some way, in Sweden we call it lax, anyway you eat it.), and lots of coffee and a few snapps with sil to get you going again.

Most of the Hashers then set out on a trail set by Termite, but and I, being more intelligent (or lazy… I don’t know) spent the time checking that our cabin was properly cleaned out, and drinking beer by the river (That’s by the river, not by the river). There was no circle after the run, as we had to catch the bus back to Tierp, and I doubt that there were any down-down beers left anyway.

Thanks for a very nice time away from the capital, , and I’m pretty sure that the Stockholm Hash will visit Älvkarleby fishing camp again. It was a very nice place, and there was a lot of beautiful nature to run amok in.

Hare: Anon

Attendees: (27 in all)

The Usual Suspects: Bashful Sphincter, Clever Dick, Double Decker, Floater, Ingrid Larssen, Just Mite, King Zebra, Mad Swede, Marmite, Mermite, Pucko, Squirt, Standing Ovation, Termite, Uncle Mite and V.D.VIKING

Visiting Scottish Invaders from Glasgow H3: Mimi, Oink and Sickboy